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Two Straws Episode 4: Invicta FC 29 Breakdown
2K views
Nov 7, 2024
Jessica Penne and Angela Hill venture back to the Great Wolf Lodge in Kansas City to give you the lowdown on Invicta FC 29. In this week's episode we use The Force, we talk about the effectiveness of reverse cowgirl guard in mma, t-shirt fighter syndrome, and "Period Dramas", and we don't mean the ones with funny wigs and horses.
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0:00
[Music]
0:15
hello and welcome to another episode of
0:19
too strong don't make anything anyways
0:24
we are here to go over the next Invicta
0:27
FC card Invicta FC number 29 29 30
0:33
coming up this is your last year to have
0:36
fun 38:30 lady fill your twenties
0:41
slipping away yeah your last opportunity
0:43
to get really wasted be socially
0:45
acceptable yeah yeah they'll be judged
0:47
their last year to like have an abortion
0:49
and not feel bad about it Invicta 29 is
1:00
actually happening on may the 4th it's
1:06
the shape and may the force be with you
1:09
just okay my lightsaber is like in the
1:16
car I think um I would like to place
1:19
another bet oh [ __ ] very miss me [ __ ]
1:24
[ __ ] ouch alright so Angela owed me for
1:40
last Invicta cards bet on how many
1:43
fighters would miss wait and I won the
1:45
last one I'll actually give you this one
1:48
to guess how many fighters are gonna
1:50
miss wait I am alright but what happens
1:53
if I miss what happens if I miss the way
1:56
Oh
1:59
using a penalizing extremely
2:02
embarrassing like videotape it oh and
2:07
put it on the next episode of to stress
2:09
exactly I'm gonna say three three yes
2:17
I'm gonna say two two is my lucky number
2:19
two was the bet last time and two will
2:22
be the bat this time all right you're on
2:26
get done business idea thank you Invicta
2:29
last time we did this they debuted the
2:32
ring carboy and guess who's coming back
2:34
for Invicta 29 last Theodore hall that's
2:39
how we got that position yeah he [ __ ]
2:42
this week on a couch just like this yeah
2:44
we know what's up we know it's a spine
2:47
concern is you know you have ring card
2:49
boys I mean that's the first step
2:52
next thing you know we'll have ring
2:54
guard dogs ring Carter go oh yes well
2:59
you didn't cry dogs no no you never
3:01
faced an event to ring-card alpacas ring
3:05
card goats I need to call somebody jess
3:08
is gonna be the first female dog
3:11
marriage in the state of California well
3:14
he drools and he can't get up on the bed
3:16
so it's kind of like the last dude I
3:17
dated that's funny and sad because it's
3:20
true if you want to watch a man-child
3:25
parade around the ring like a [ __ ]
3:27
cocker spaniel then you should watch him
3:30
Victor 20 that's didn't show I just
3:31
mostly hope that they worked on their
3:35
like standing choreography so he's in
3:37
the middle all the girls are on the side
3:39
they don't have to direct him as much
3:40
anymore look here look you know go boy
3:48
take the vest off like you look like
3:51
extra from the Warriors and I would note
3:54
because and we were in shape we had
4:01
six-packs
4:01
oh but one thing one thing of note is
4:05
that Elias is in fight camp so we might
4:08
see that a fifth or six Pat speaking of
4:11
awkward it seems like Invicta went right
4:15
back to the Great Wolf Lodge pity the
4:19
Great Wolf Lodge Great Wolf Lodge was
4:23
the location of my last
4:25
Invicta fight Jessica penne was there
4:28
with me it was quite the experience
4:31
I was walking down the hall looking for
4:34
some ice and I saw those little [ __ ]
4:36
twins on a bicycle it's basically like
4:38
Chuckie Cheese Meets The Shining and you
4:41
put them all together and there's like
4:43
animatronic animal wonderland you walk
4:47
in this is like big tree and then
4:49
there's these animatronic animals going
4:51
hurt Kurds bah bah bah bah and
4:53
immediately when I walked it I was just
4:55
like where's the bar oh [ __ ] I can't
4:57
drink oh [ __ ] the bar closes at 9:00 in
5:00
Kansas City nine-nine and at a
5:03
family-friendly place like that you know
5:05
the parents need some alcohol cuz
5:06
they're locked up with all those
5:07
screaming kids all dates yell I mean I'm
5:09
not a parent but I can only assume that
5:11
alcohol is a necessity at family fun
5:13
hotels yes it was for me yes no I'm not
5:17
having kids ever but suck that there
5:19
wasn't a minibar but at least a bed was
5:21
carved to look like a tree house yeah
5:24
that was fun also I didn't get to jump
5:27
on it but there's an indoor waterpark
5:30
with slides on it which is like crazy
5:33
it's a hotel but has water slides yes I
5:37
got chlorine wafting out of the
5:39
elevators and the stairs and burning
5:41
your eyes the sweet smell of chlorine
5:43
mmm I was pretty dehydrated cells like
5:46
anything please inject me with something
5:57
that won't make me pop imagine elias
6:01
theodoro
6:01
sliding down one of those water slides
6:04
[ __ ] Invicta vest on trying to like
6:07
keep it down so you can't see his love
6:10
handles like I'm actually pretty sure
6:14
the other bring her girls I think
6:15
natasha has him on Shaq probably has him
6:18
doing some crazy yoga poses she was like
6:22
probably has them like alena now you
6:25
know I just think that we're gonna see
6:26
the best life theodoro ring-card boy yet
6:32
nice it's only the second time so
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there's only a part of a girl from there
6:35
fully up silence is a and one of the
6:41
fights that we would like to highlight
6:42
is pearl Gonzalez versus Barbara Osceola
6:46
and this is in the flyweight division so
6:49
pearl used to fight in the UFC at 115
6:51
pounds deciding to go back up to weight
6:53
class said a little bit like better
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suits yeah their body hash tag free fat
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straw weights now I say this because as
7:01
an athlete you always have to check in
7:04
with your weight you always have to keep
7:05
it under wraps if your coach ask you hey
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how much you weigh you can't get
7:09
offended cuz you're a chick you just
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gotta tell them alright still storm off
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haha dare you just can get offended I I
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just chugged a half a gallon of water
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and I ate breakfast
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I'm at least five pounds over also how
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old are you she never seemed to have a
7:30
lot of trouble cutting weight but a lot
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of times you don't see what happens
7:33
behind closed doors you don't see the
7:35
struggle a lot of people suck it up and
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make the weight even though it might
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have been like kind of medically
7:40
dangerous to make it so it's good that
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she made that decision to go up and yeah
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she's fighting a girl who's coming off
7:49
with two losses so I think she can make
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make another statement with this with
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this fight and get a win I don't know
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for some reason I'm thinking of like
7:57
fries and then aioli hello kind of
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hungry speaking of going up a weight
8:02
class yeah a little
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Barbara aioli chutney and I like dip
8:08
some what is those really thick fries
8:11
called french fries
8:13
no no they serve him in like a colon not
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steak fries the pommes frites [ __ ]
8:20
Humphrey I've never heard of a palm tree
8:22
I think that's just French for french
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fries
8:25
it's pump French for its
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did you see pros post she's like almost
8:32
that weight and looks like her abs are
8:35
coming back oh yeah check it out where
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abs are back well I mean if they start
8:46
at her tits then there's to know if you
8:49
look like right under the rib there's
8:51
like a little like shadow and well she's
8:55
cute now she's stuck you should approve
8:58
necklace you look good girl Precure he
9:00
look good interesting fact pearl just
9:04
beat korrina Rodriguez and this girl
9:07
that she's fighting aioli sauce she got
9:10
knocked out by Kareena I remember that
9:13
it was it was a first-round TKO by
9:16
Karina Rodriguez and it was a little
9:18
awkward kind of a stoppage however there
9:22
was there was really no sense in the
9:24
fight going on any longer the way it was
9:26
going Karina really overwhelmed her with
9:28
strikes on the ground knocked her down
9:30
and then proceeded to beat her up on the
9:33
ground but you know when it comes to MMA
9:36
math the pieces don't always line up
9:38
just because one person beat another
9:40
person doesn't mean that they'll beat
9:42
them that way and I definitely think
9:45
Karina's boxing is a little more elusive
9:47
than pearls pearl is a little more kind
9:50
of aggressive and just like kind of
9:52
demands her will well like Karina has
9:55
the slip she has the fade back she has
9:57
to check hooks and all that stuff so I'm
10:00
not sure if pearls gonna be able to put
10:03
aioli on her bandy legs the way that
10:05
Karina did but I definitely think that
10:08
she has an upper hand in this fight I
10:10
definitely agree with your stance on
10:12
Karina having a little bit sharper
10:13
crisper better technique than pearl
10:16
however we're gonna see Pearl at
10:17
flyweight which i think is the natural
10:20
weight class and I want to see how she
10:23
moved her weight around and see if she's
10:26
a little bit more efficient a little bit
10:27
more effective not so scared to let go
10:30
because she doesn't know how the weight
10:32
cuts gonna affect her performance these
10:34
are things that a lot of people run into
10:36
that the audience may or may not pick up
10:38
on and I'm looking to see her be a
10:40
little bit more aggressive
10:41
but more confident now that she's at her
10:43
natural weight class yeah I'm excited
10:45
for Pearl I think she's gonna get that
10:48
kind of reassurance that she needs going
10:50
back to Invicta getting a few wins under
10:53
about and really figuring out the way
10:56
that she wants to fight the way that she
10:58
likes to fight and just getting some
11:01
confidence in herself reminds me of a
11:03
young fighter that I used to know but
11:11
most importantly I think the audience is
11:14
gonna be happy to see a little a lowly
11:16
spread between those hamburger buns I'm
11:19
talking about pearls boobs hey guess
11:28
who's in the co-main event huh
11:32
okay yeah Oh panty
11:37
yeah yeah that's from the tough 20 panty
11:41
well give me those back these are
11:42
probably felices or something
11:44
are they signed actually a little
11:47
signature in there
11:48
Thanks police and up next in our co-main
11:51
event we have panty kyon Zod vs. Bianca
11:56
domani Bianca Thea modest all sounds
12:01
Italian but you got that DIA money purse
12:03
like did you get it from China expensive
12:06
Laurita I don't know much about this
12:08
Bianca diamante chick like it was hard
12:11
to find information on her you see the
12:14
record it's like you know one of those
12:16
records that are from Brazil where it's
12:18
like there's a lot of girls on there
12:20
that you don't really recognize who she
12:22
beat but we've had a lot of fighters
12:24
debuting Invicta and they turn out being
12:27
legit well the interesting thing about
12:29
fighting somebody who's relatively
12:31
unknown is that they have kind of a
12:35
mystery about them and their opponents
12:38
sometimes it can be difficult to really
12:40
get an accurate gauge on who they're
12:43
fighting so Bianca kind of comes in with
12:45
that mystique I've seen some of her
12:47
fights as we've watched and and she
12:50
seems pretty dominant she seems to be
12:53
pretty aggressive fighter definitely
12:56
likes to stand up
12:57
so we'll see what she has to bring
12:59
because in pani she she too is a striker
13:03
and I think this is gonna you know have
13:05
two strikers colliding and coming
13:08
together for a really exciting co-main
13:10
event especially if you like twerking
13:13
and booty bounces really yeah penny hey
13:17
you know hence the name likes to bounce
13:19
her booty on girls faces while they're
13:22
on the ground without like an E Honda
13:24
move Street Fighter II Honda yeah
13:26
like the bling-bling boy is it reverse
13:28
cowgirl her cowgirl hat wall dating that
13:32
corner throw it at her and give it a
13:36
mounted position so a little dirty
13:40
reverse cowgirl yeah hopefully we see
13:43
this in the fight
13:52
there will be returning music I
13:55
definitely think that pani may have the
13:58
advantage she's definitely had stiffer
14:02
opponents um she has fought people that
14:05
are currently fighting you I see you
14:06
like Lina she has five who else's she
14:09
fought she's beaten duty Ava early on in
14:14
her career and her last three fights
14:18
were losses but they were all against
14:20
like the criminal crop when it comes to
14:22
Invicta and like some people may say
14:24
over the phone but [ __ ] you guys
14:27
Invicta fighters are actually pretty
14:29
good especially the ones that pay me
14:31
lost to Tonya ever endure Raquel Paola
14:34
Lully and Sarah Kaufman who's in the
14:38
main event
14:38
so panties fought some stiff competition
14:40
and just because you lose a fight
14:43
doesn't mean you don't improve after if
14:45
anything you improve tons more so I
14:47
think we're gonna see panty get that one
14:51
back break that loose streak and you
14:54
know hopefully see that booty bow see
14:57
some panties drive Oh ladies go get them
15:01
ratings speaking of Sarah Kaufman
15:06
oh boy honey what do you have a coffee n
15:15
in the main event
15:17
we have Sarah Kaufman versus Catarina
15:19
later
15:20
now Catarina letter is it's kind of
15:24
relatively unknown again another one of
15:26
these imports from the UK and she hasn't
15:31
necessarily proven herself the way Sarah
15:33
Kaufman has in my opinion Sarah Kaufman
15:35
is a former UFC fighter she is a former
15:39
Strikeforce fighter she has fought the
15:41
top of the top and she is an excellent
15:43
striker she has recently moved to Duke
15:46
Rufus over at Rufus port in Milwaukee
15:51
interesting so bigoted camp definitely
15:54
adding to her already sound striking
15:57
game and is really like who you think of
16:00
when you think of Muay Thai for MMA she
16:03
looked very impressive in her last
16:05
showing she fought penny Keon said and
16:08
she was just like Moen are over she
16:12
would press it against the fence she was
16:14
using like also it's a kicks punches
16:16
like just really stringing those
16:18
combinations together really nicely
16:20
definitely the most fluid I've seen her
16:22
since being in the UFC and you know
16:26
she's a veteran of sport I'm speaking of
16:28
her opponent Katarina Leonard I'm this
16:31
is another girl who came and severely
16:35
overweight in her last outing and this
16:38
makes me bring up yeah the fact that
16:43
ladies we need to start making weight
16:44
take away girls wait wait lay off that
16:48
schnitzel
16:48
yeah no just talking about in a previous
16:50
interview no more German bread you're
16:53
talking about that is that Chanel or is
16:55
that something else I'm not exactly sure
16:57
if you want to be taken seriously as a
16:58
professional and you know a lot of times
17:01
women struggle with that in every field
17:03
not just fighting you have to do the
17:05
specific things that you are contracted
17:07
to do which is make weights show up in
17:10
shape show up ready to fight and like it
17:12
wasn't just like a pound there were a
17:14
couple around
17:16
it was five and a half five and a half
17:19
pounds she's like huge success huge
17:22
difference especially at bantamweight
17:24
those girls are big they're Amazons I
17:27
can't like really respect the fact that
17:29
she got that TKO because she was so much
17:32
heavier and visibly heavier than her
17:35
opponent and it showed those shots were
17:37
landing so much heavier with that being
17:40
said she has some steep steep
17:42
competition in Sarah Kaufman Sarah
17:44
Kaufman is a very sound striker she is
17:48
well rounded she definitely likes to
17:50
keep it on the feet so her ground game
17:52
is more defensive than offensive to keep
17:57
it on the feet and and I'm really
18:00
looking forward to this fight I think
18:01
that they both have similar styles in
18:03
that they like to keep it on the feet
18:05
there's strikers they're good at cutting
18:07
off the cage I do think Sarah's gonna
18:10
come in a little bit sharper and a
18:11
little bit crisper with her striking I'm
18:13
Sarah Kaufman she's she's beaten like so
18:15
many people she's beaten me she okay
18:18
she's beaten Liz Carmouche especially
18:21
Smith yeah she shut Leslie Smith down
18:23
twice such as one more term in the UFC
18:26
matters to do I think she's one of those
18:32
fighters who suffer from t-shirt fighter
18:35
syndrome what is t-shirt fire syndrome
18:37
um well it's pretty simple it's when you
18:40
show up to a fight as a woman but you
18:43
wear a t-shirt you stand there while
18:45
they call your name you don't do
18:47
anything you don't blink you just kind
18:49
of and then when you fight you just
18:52
grind them up when it comes to the like
18:53
sheer like being a good fighter being
18:57
technical being someone who can win
18:58
she's really good at being all those
19:01
things so at one point you gotta say
19:04
well where is the entertainment line
19:07
drawn and where's in a sport because it
19:09
can't always be entertaining when
19:11
they're good at the sport like sometimes
19:13
they're just so boring
19:17
I mean people are constantly canceling
19:20
each other out with with moves it's like
19:22
a chess match so yeah it's not
19:23
necessarily going to be the most
19:26
spectacular exciting fight of all time
19:28
by two
19:29
ooh somebody who's not just a casual fan
19:32
it's it's really amazing to watch so
19:35
when I see a grinder work I always try
19:38
to steal their [ __ ] because it's just
19:39
like okay they're totally controlling
19:42
the pace they're controlling like where
19:43
the fight is and they're totally
19:45
comfortable because they're the ones
19:47
grinding as opposed to the person going
19:49
oh so shout out to all those grinders
19:53
out there I appreciate you stop for
19:56
Karla [ __ ] you [ __ ] so on topic of
20:04
conversation with missing weight
20:06
last week we had a Aspen lad and Miss
20:08
wait by a couple of pounds and was
20:11
actually taken out of the fight when
20:12
Leslie Smith didn't agree to continue
20:15
the fight after she didn't make weight
20:17
now Aspen ladders a repeat offender with
20:19
not making weight and and I do think
20:22
that Leslie kind of had a valid reason
20:24
to kind of teach her a lesson ladies we
20:26
need to make way Aspen lads reason for
20:29
not making weight was that she had lady
20:31
problems and no came into town she was
20:34
right in the canal wave no Oh keep going
20:39
okay how many times
20:41
no that's [ __ ] up no you're bringing
20:45
us all down
20:45
bottom line is it's something all of us
20:47
I've had a cut weight at that time fight
20:51
at that time I've been in the middle of
20:53
you know my last week my fight week and
20:56
guess who popped in at Aunt Flo like it
21:00
just these things happen and you have to
21:03
you have to make the correct decisions
21:09
to make it easier and to kind of like
21:11
get through those obstacles these are
21:13
things that every female has to deal
21:14
with mm-hmm and it shouldn't be an
21:17
excuse it's not an excuse especially
21:20
when you repeatedly miss wheet exactly
21:22
this is it's like a guy saying Hannah
21:24
sweet because I had a boner I don't
21:27
think it's you and I and I have a huge
21:29
dick so tips of skills
21:34
[Laughter]
21:37
I just really frustrates me when women
21:40
try to make excuses that are a female
21:44
base and assume that everybody is just
21:47
gonna buy it because they say oh yeah
21:49
women are weak and women are this or
21:52
that and we have to make these
21:54
allowances these computers make we have
21:57
to make these concessions it is truly
21:59
you suffer from fatigue you bloat you
22:03
keep on weight it's harder to cut the
22:05
weight like these are all like real
22:07
things but you have to make the proper
22:09
adjustments for it and you have to
22:10
prepare for it hmm as a professional
22:13
fighter gay [ __ ] together bad
22:17
speaking of periods let's check out how
22:21
Cal did in her last and victim
22:24
performance oh my god oh Jesus
22:31
somebody plug it up there's red
22:34
everywhere it looks like random Marco's
22:36
just got a haircut and left it all over
22:38
the bathroom counter see yeah everybody
22:46
clean mm-hmm yes she did really well she
22:49
got the TKO it was a bloody mess and
22:52
we're super proud of her hopefully she
22:54
gets on that next Invicta card well
22:57
that's it for our fourth episode of two
23:00
straws this is Angela Hill and iron
23:02
Jessica penny and thank you for joining
23:04
us yep and Victor 29 is gonna be airing
23:08
on May for it so make sure all you and
23:10
Victor fighters use the force in that
23:12
fight may the fourth be with you oh oh
23:18
whoops that is gonna be light secret
23:21
[Laughter]
23:27
[Music]
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