No Contact: Breakup and Reconciliation Guide
No Contact is NOT a tool to win back an ex. Everything you are doing right now is focused on what is best for YOU. If you want to use no contact as a tactic to win an ex back then by all means try it, but you will find yourself praying, hoping and wishing for the day that No Contact finally has its desired effect…and that day may never come. So initiate NC knowing that it is NOT to bring your ex back, it is all about allowing yourself space and time to heal. If you enter this period knowing that, the results will come – if you enter it expecting it to bring your ex to their senses, you face disappointment – and you may even find yourself resuming the ‘stereotypical post-break-up behavior’ covered at the beginning of this post. No Contact is difficult and at times heart-wrenching – but healing will occur if you tough it out and hang in there. Contacting your ex may bring you temporary relief, but it only makes things harder in the long run – it’s akin to scratching chicken-pox. You will have an almost overwhelming urge to scratch and scratch…knowing that while it may make you feel great momentarily, it will ultimately delay the healing. What happens if I break No Contact? Quite simple – you start again. You don’t beat yourself up about it or dwell on it – what’s done is done. If you contact your ex, and the conversation goes well – ask yourself: “What have I really achieved?”, “Am I ready to be just friends?” or “Am I closer to reconciliation?”. If none of your answers are positive – resume No Contact and don’t look back. If your ex makes promises, but provides no evidence that they are going to back them up with actions – resume No Contact and don’t look back. If you attempt to contact your ex and your attempt is ignored, do NOT follow up with another call/email – resume No Contact and don’t look back. If the ball is left in their court (via your attempt at contact), leave it with them – they know how to find you if they do wish to contact you.