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have you ever wondered why you keep
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gravitating toward the same type of
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only to end up frustrated heartbroken or
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feeling like something's missing
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maybe you fall head over heels for the
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intense romantic who sweeps you up in
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fireworks then wonder why the glow fades
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or you find yourself settling into calm
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companion style relationships that feel
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safe but somehow leave you longing for
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what if I told you that the very people
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you're drawn to reveal a hidden
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blueprint of your heart your unique love
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and that understanding your style could
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unlock the secret to lasting fulfilling
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today we're diving deep into six
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fundamental love styles
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first identified by psychologist John
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Lee and decoding exactly what each style
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says about your deepest needs your blind
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spots and the kind of partnership that
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will truly nurture you
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two friends Mia and Aaron both searching
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mia chases whirlwind romances every date
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feels like a movie scene her heart
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racing a mile a minute
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aaron prefers long walks and deep
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conversations the comfort of a partner
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who feels more like a teammate than a
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yet both repeatedly end up in
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relationships that don't quite fit each
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wondering "What am I doing wrong
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the answer lies not in them but in the
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hidden lens of their love styles
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let's start with the first style aeros
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romantic if you resonate with Aeros love
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feels like poetry in motion sweeping
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gestures candle lit gazes whispered I
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love you that make your pulse sore
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you fall in love quickly and fully
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seeking not just physical connection but
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when it works it's electrifying
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when it falters it's devastating because
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your identity becomes entwined with the
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relationship's highs and lows
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aeros lovers bring warmth passion and
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devotion but there's a hitch the fairy
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tale ideal can blind you to red flags
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you might stay past your breaking point
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hoping the next grand gesture will make
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everything sparkle again
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you need to learn to pace that fire
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honoring your depth while maintaining
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boundaries that keep you safe when
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reality falls short of fantasy
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next is Ludus the playful strategist of
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ludas types approach romance like a game
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flirting teasing unpredictable texts
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that keep both of you on your toes
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you love the chase and the thrill of not
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quite knowing where you stand
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each new interaction is a puzzle to
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solve a playful dance that sparks
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your strength lies in your
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light-heartedness you bring fun
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adventure and a youthful spirit that
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but the game can become a cage emotional
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walls go up when someone tries to get
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too close and you risk trading genuine
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intimacy for endless cat and mouse
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if you see yourself here your challenge
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is to let down your guard just enough to
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let trust enter while still sprinkling
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in the spontaneity that fuels your joy
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then there's Stoga the companion and
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stoic lovers build their romances on the
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bedrock of friendship they cherish
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comfort shared interests and a mutual
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for you love begins as a deep bond of
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camaraderie and evolves into romance
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your relationships are stable enduring
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you know your partner's quirks and
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favorite snacks and you delight in the
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small rituals that make life feel secure
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yet the risk for stoga types is
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complacency you may settle into a safe
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routine and forget to fan the flames of
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your invitation is to weave in moments
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of novelty impromptu weekend getaways
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surprise date nights to remind both of
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you that comfort and spark can coexist
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moving on to Pragma the pragmatic
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matchmaker pragmatic lovers approach
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relationships with an eye for
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compatibility they weigh values goals
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and lifestyle factors like a careful
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you ask "Does this person align with my
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vision of the future?" And you
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prioritize stability over fleeting
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your strength is your clarity you make
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deliberate choices avoiding toxic
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detours and focusing on long-term
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harmony however logic alone can feel dry
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if you're pragma you may suppress your
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own romantic yearnings in favor of
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checklists unintentionally sidelining
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to thrive you need to invite a dash of
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unpredictability a moonlit walk on a
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whim a surprise handwritten note to
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remind your heart that love encompasses
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both head and heartbeat
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now let's explore the most intense style
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Mania the obsessive lover
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manic lovers experience love as a
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highwire act euphoria and despair in
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when you're in the grip of mania your
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thoughts whirl non-stop every text read
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and reread every pause obsessively
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meaning you pour yourself into grand
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gestures and desperate please for
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your devotion can feel like utter
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surrender but the cost is steep manic
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love is addictive and the crashes can
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mania often masks deep fears of
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abandonment and low selfworth
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if you recognize mania in yourself your
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path to healing lies in building self-
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validation rituals affirmations that
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remind you "I am enough." Text or no
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and in practicing small consistent
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self-care that suits your anxiety
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without requiring external validation
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finally we have a gate the selfless
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a gate lovers give love without asking
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return you're the friend who drops
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everything to help the partner who
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anticipates needs the heart that finds
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joy in the happiness of others
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your capacity for compassion is
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extraordinary you model unconditional
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love in its purest form
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but beware the generous self-exhaustion
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trap you can lose your own needs in the
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process feeling resentful when your
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for escape hearts it's essential to
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practice healthy boundaries learning
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that saying no to help sometimes frees
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you to say yes to self-care
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that way your well of generosity never
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so which style resonates most
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or are you a blend perhaps an aeros
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pragma mix seeking both romance and
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reason recognizing your dominant style
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but awareness alone won't rewrite your
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heart script you need action
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here are three proven strategies to
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master your love style and expand into
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secure fulfilling connection
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honor your strength while inviting your
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if you're a carve out weekly quiet
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nights to savor calm companionship
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if you're stoga plan monthly surprise
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adventures to stir excitement
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this deliberate balancing rewires your
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brain to crave both safety and novelty
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practice the mirror meditation
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each evening sit facing your partner and
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share one thing you admire about them
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and one trait you'd like to strengthen
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no judgment just honest reflection
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this ritual builds empathy deepens
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understanding and softens the edges of
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every love style's extreme
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launch a 30-day love experiment
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choose one challenge outside your
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ludas types could practice daily
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vulnerability by sharing a fear
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mania types could schedule self-care
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breaks when anxiety strikes
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pragma types could plan a spontaneous
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track your emotions in a journal and
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celebrate every moment you stretch
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to see how these steps transform real
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lives let's revisit my friend Rachel and
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rachel's intensity nearly burned her out
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until she started Monday morning
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gratitude texts with her partner Mia
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they swap five things they appreciated
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rachel also said a 10-minute self
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soothing break whenever panic
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flared over weeks her obsession eased
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and her love settled into a vibrant
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know your style honor its gifts and
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deliberately cultivate its counterpart
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in doing so you'll move from extremes to
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equilibrium finding a love that feels
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both thrilling and secure
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if today's episode resonated comment my
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style is underscore below and share one
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action you'll take this week to stretch
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beyond your comfort zone
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like this video if it helped you decode
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your attraction patterns and subscribe
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remember your love style is not a cage
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with awareness and action you can chart
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a course to the partnership you truly